I'm back!

[Al B.]

Just an apology to you all. I moved house on Friday to a location that is better defensible and further away from the sea - one has to take these threats of invasion from the West seriously. As a result of the move, my broadband provider decided that I don't need broadband any more and cut me off last week and won't reinstate the service to my new house for another 3 weeks meaning that I only have access from the office.

On the plus side however, I now have two cellars, a decoy and the real one. The real one is cunningly disguised as an under the stairs cupboard and is where I keep my precious treasures that under no circumstances would I want to have them stolen by maurauding natives who have sailed from the "other side of the pond". This is the storage place for the Cruz (Ruby and VP), the Taylor 2001 LBV and other such splendid gems. The rubbish that no-one cares about goes into a hole in the garden - or at least it will when I manage to finish unpacking all the boxes of garbage that we seem to have accumulated over the last 15 years in the same house!

But the main purpose is to say that I'm back and working in the office for at least the next two weeks so you should see a little more of me than you have for the last 2-3 weeks. Thanks to you all for the nice things that you've been PM'ing me or posting.

And, yes, we're really pleased with the new home but by God there's a lot of gardening to do after buying from a family of 5 who had no interest in gardening at all :!:

Alex

[Derek T.]

Welcome back Al-B

Have you laid the minefield and trip-wires yet? Jay has been suspiciously silent recently and I suspect he is mid Atlantic with Captain Jack Sparrow & co preparing raid southern England

I believe Tom has all of his bottles wired to sticks of dinamite and a panic button that never leaves his grasp. I've boarded up all my windows and doors and am living as a recluse with 6 hungry Rotwieler's and a blunderbus left to me by my Great Grandfather after we gave India back.

Derek

[Al B.]

As I understand it, Tom is shipping all his port out to China and Thailand where they have no interest in the stuff. When Jay and the colonials arrive at Tom's abode they will be met with trip wires, explosives and an empty cellar!

Alex

[Al B.]

And now that I've found that my BlackBerry works for reading and posting on the forum you need never be without me again!

[Andy Velebil]

Too late, Tom's already in our custody, along with his Ports.....watch out guys, us swashbucklers are on our way to your flats as we speak

[Todd Pettinger]

I moved house on Friday to a location that is better defensible and further away from the sea - one has to take these threats of invasion from the West seriously.
...
On the plus side however, I now have two cellars, a decoy and the real one.

Good to see that the threats are not falling on completely deaf ears!!! But decoy cellars are never a problem!

I've boarded up all my windows and doors and am living as a recluse with 6 hungry Rotwieler's and a blunderbus left to me by my Great Grandfather after we gave India back.

Oh Derek, if that is all you have, you're in trouble. Blunderbus = single shot before having to reload. We'll have a decoy for that. And tear gas works fine on Rotties and can't permeate the glass of the port bottles.

As I understand it, Tom is shipping all his port out to China and Thailand where they have no interest in the stuff. When Jay and the colonials arrive at Tom's abode they will be met with trip wires, explosives and an empty cellar!

Now this certainly would be a bit of an issue, but, having already determined that a mass-exodus was possible prior to beginning the raid, we have been watching the train stations, airports, bus depots, and all climate-controlled modes of trucking... we have intercepted the shipments and will be moving in to take control of the liquid assets shortly. :)


I guess I can be serious for one moment... welcome back Alex. We missed you! :)

Todd

[Jay Powers]

Welcome back Al-B

Have you laid the minefield and trip-wires yet? Jay has been suspiciously silent recently and I suspect he is mid Atlantic with Captain Jack Sparrow & co preparing raid southern England

I believe Tom has all of his bottles wired to sticks of dinamite and a panic button that never leaves his grasp. I've boarded up all my windows and doors and am living as a recluse with 6 hungry Rotwieler's and a blunderbus left to me by my Great Grandfather after we gave India back.

Derek

Actually I started a new job and have been busy at work or doing "homework". But that's OK, because as you know, we in the US would never be so crass as to just show up with some camo and webgear. No, we need to:

1) create an ill thought out plan plan,
2) run it through a couple of conservative think-tanks,
3) move the satellites,
4) gather intelligence and recon photos from 100 miles up
5) Stockpile fuel to move our overweight M1 Tanks one at a time in Galaxy transports to an appropiate staging ground (probably Scotland),
6) Revisit our now out of date recon photos,
7) Initiate a research program to build a really really expensive high tech weapon system,
8) Decide our photos are out of date and move some more satellites,
9) Recruit some more 16-year olds,
9) ......

So currently we can tell to the cm where Alex has buried his port, but the whole plan has been stymied by our inability to afford the fuel for all of the Galaxy runs that would need to be made to transport the M1s and Bradleys.

My simple plan to get a Ranger battalion out of Fort Benning and have them drop from (outdated) C-130's and tranship the port out on Maersk container ships was discarded out of hand a being "old technology", and unsuitable for the modern battlefield.

Currently I'm using my spare time to work out the logistics of three economy fare tickets to london and space on an old liberty ship for the booty.

Jay

[Derek T.]

Jay,

Here's one for your list......

15) Blow up unsuspecting UK truck driver just after he delivers your booty to the container ship in unfortunate "Friendly Fire" incident :?

Derek

[Todd Pettinger]

Well that is absolutely correct Derek. Can't have any eyewitnesses - especially those from the UK who know what old port is and cherish it! :) I think the term you were looking for is "collateral damage."

[Derek T.]

Todd,

I think you will find that the US Armed Forces operating manual classifies these instances as follows:

Collateral Damage: The unfortunate killing of innocent civilians in the general proximity of a military or strategic target

Friendly Fire: The unfortunate killing of allied armed forces due to poor communication and breaches in the rules of engagement

Derek

[Todd Pettinger]

True enough Derek, although I was classifying our poor truck driver as an innocent civilian

[Derek T.]

No, he would be a dirty traitor to his nation and an ally of the gang of cutthroat theves headed by JP

Derek