Rules of airline travel

[Andy Velebil]

Someone else posted this elsewhere and I just had to post it here...so true


- Be prepared when you get to the security gate. Everyone knows you have
to take off your shoes, belt, hat, etc. and go through the metal
detector…don't act like it's some huge inconvenience when you get to the
line. Just put your shit in the little plastic bins and move along.

- The airline gate person makes announcements for a reason. She will tell
you how and when to board the plane. The zone is on your boarding pass, feel
free to have a look at this before you sprint to the front of the line and
try to climb on with the first class passengers and those with special
needs…your seat will be ready and waiting when it's your turn.

- Speaking of boarding the plane, feel free to have a sense of where you
and your luggage are in relation to others. I don't appreciate you swinging
your purse, satchel, rucksack, or suitcase into my head as your shuffle down
the aisle.

- And speaking of suitcases, feel free to make sure your carry-on bag is
slightly smaller than what a Sherpa would carry up Everest. Good lord, i
know it's gonna be an extra 20 minutes in baggage claim waiting for all your
worldly possessions to come down the belt, but the overhead compartment is
for EVERYONE to use…just because you brought a freaking steamer trunk on
board doesn't mean you get priority.

- And another thing, it might be a good thing to not tow your suitcase
through the plane…it's awkward, cumbersome, and inconvenient to the rest of
us trying to get to our seats. Unless you have a disability, you should be
able to pick up your 22lb. carry-on like a big boy or girl and walk it to
your seat. That is, unless you decided to completely disregard the airline's
guidelines for what a carry-on bag should be and you are trying to hump 55
pounds of Starbucks water and cinnabons to your seat.

- Speaking of towing suitcases and other luggage around an airport, have
a look around every now and again (yes, that means BEHIND you too!) so when
your bag is moving around like a snake having a grand mal seizure it doesn't
keep hitting me in the ankles and it won't be hazard to the rest of us.

- And speaking of the rest of us, if you are walking through the
terminal, try doing so like you have a sense of purpose and direction. This
is not a leisurely stroll through a museum, there are people trying to make
connections and get the hell on their way. Sauntering three abreast down the
main thoroughfare at the terminal and gawking around like you just got your
first glimpse of a real-live Oompa Loompa is not getting it done.

- Also, the airplane is not your living room. Keep your shoes on and your
feet off the furniture. I don't want to smell 'em, and I don't want to be
sitting down where your bunion-ridden modes of bi-pedal modality have been
resting. It's gross. And another thing: we're all in the same confined
little space…I can hear every word you say and I'm not really that
interested. I'm not against being social, just keep your voice lower than
the engines which keep the plane aloft.

- Finally, listen to what the flight attendants have to say when they
start yapping on the microphone. If they say "remain seated until the plane
comes to a complete stop and the pilot turns the sign off" then just f*cking
do it! I'm so sick and tired of some ass-clown from 24 rows behind me
sprinting toward the exit as soon as he spies the terminal from his window
seat to try and get out 5 minutes sooner. Just wait your goddam turn like a
good little passenger and I won't have to kick the suitcase you are dragging
behind you down the aisle all the way to the cockpit. Jackass.

[David Spriggs]

Wow. I have to say that I've seen al those people... but never ranted about it :devil:
-Dave-

[Eric Ifune]

Also, if you are standing on the moving walkway, leave a path on the left for people to pass.

[Eric Menchen]

Also, if you are standing on the moving walkway, leave a path on the left for people to pass.

Same for an escalator. Seems a more common practice in Europe.

[Ronald Wortel]

That is one sour person.