For The Love Of Port

Derek

I'm surprised you don't know what a recent synch is. Its the opposite of an ancient synch. The recent synch is the thing you buy from a DIY store, install in your bathroom and use to wash in. It stops the water from the taps getting your feet wet.

I'm still trying to figure out how that has affected the avatars though.....more port needed

Alex

I'm sure Homer Simpson would have some insightful , if not thaught provoking statement . But since he isn't here , the peanut butter guy will have to do . . .

This scenario reminds me of the story of a pudgy little bear named Winnie and his red haired friend Christopher Robin and the annual Peanut butter & Port tasting . . .

Stewart,
Now that Alex has explained the technicalities...

Any chanth of unblockin this synch!

Take as much time as you want, really, I just thought that was a funny line! :)
Alan

Update:

Making progress on this. Our site database actually has several tables of data that house pieces of info related to our users - i.e. FTLOP PP member or not, forum posts, avatars, user profiles, etc. The common reference that ties all these together is your userid (a numeric id number that the database automatically assigns to you when you sign up - not your login username). If something happens and the numbers of a user gets out of synch, i have a tool on that back end that will tidy everything up.

During the last synch, the table that tells the system which directory your avatar lives in got confused, bumped it's head and couldn't get up in the morning. After a minor, non-invasive operation, the patient is making a nice recovery, and should be back to normal after a few post-operation procedures.

If you will please return to the waiting room, the doctor will give you an update shortly. There is cheap coffee and four year old magazines that you can read while waiting.

Stewart,
to encourage you, I've decided to tell you a painful joke every few days until its resolved. So with my first offering...

I went with Debbie to put some flowers on my Fathers grave today. I looked over and saw 4 gravediggers walking round with a coffin. Half an hour later they were still walking around with it. I said to Debbie, "Those guys really have lost the plot"

Alan

Stew,

A cute little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit!"

Alan

Stewart...

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Alan

Stewart,

Please unblock that synch as quickly as you can - the pain of reading Alan's jokes is becoming too difficult to bear

Derek

Oh Lord - i'm working as fast as i can!!!!

WOW -- by god Mr. Scotty, give it all ya got , and right quick :!:

Thia all reminds me of the 1st Port & Peanut butter symposium in the 100 Acre woods .
Christopher robin , who was trying to aleviate the tension between tastings , asked Winnie if he knew what you'd get if you crossed a rooster with some peanut butter ?
Winnie : no , I don't Christopher Robins .
Christopher Robins : A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth . . .

An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what????
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
llicense.The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Old Lady: Bet the lying Swine told you I was speeding, too.

Stewart,

Were begging you....make him stop :help:

officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

obviously, this did not happen in L.A.

BTW, are you guys allowed to even carry guns

Andy,

I am meeting up with Alan on 31st March - can I borrow your gun just in case Stewart hasn't unblocked the synch by then?

Derek

Andy V. wrote:Stewart,

Were begging you....make him stop :help:

Alan , wear your trichloroanisole humour proudly .

Derek Turnbull wrote:Andy,

I am meeting up with Alan on 31st March - can I borrow your gun just in case Stewart hasn't unblocked the synch by then?

Derek

Bring a jar of peanut butter as well , ( it has a calming effect on the peanut butter & Port gods )

Derek Turnbull wrote:Andy,

I am meeting up with Alan on 31st March - can I borrow your gun just in case Stewart hasn't unblocked the synch by then?

Derek

Derek,
I will ship you, via overnight, the biggest gun I got and plenty of ammo to get the job done (in case your a bad shot)

Ohh yeah, when he is lying on the floor and making that gurgle/fish-out-of-water gasping for breath sounds, stick some peanut butter in his mouth to calm him down

Gentlemen,

There could be a blood bath!
I'm trained in the 38 Smith and Wesson revolver, and the Police issue Carbine. You dont have to know to much about them, other than we haven't invented a Human that can outrun the bullets from them yet, and Clints famous Tag Line...'Do you feel lucky, Punk'

So come on....Who's not laughing!!! (Phew, I'm scaring myself, now) :twisted:

Alan.